Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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