Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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