did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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