how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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