Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
