so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
