? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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