I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
