Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
