I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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