you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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