I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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