How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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