So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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