just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
