I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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