I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
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Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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