he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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