He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
