Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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