So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
