At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
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masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
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All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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