"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
