I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
