she was so not down for the gang bang
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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