Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize