The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
