Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You left your phone here
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