My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
