This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
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we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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