The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
