Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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