some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
