we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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