i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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