wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
