We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
