So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
