you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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