By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
