We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Ladies don't puke and tell
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
