I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
