You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
high people should be assigned attendants
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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