it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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