would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How drunk are you?
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