I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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