I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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