Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
