Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
