guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
