worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
