you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
