found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
