Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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