Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
