i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
there is glitter all over my balls
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