I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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