People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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