you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
