And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
