We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
