When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
