He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
