going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
