You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Can Purell be used as lube?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dick very happy bro
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
