New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
