it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm so fucking centered right now
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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